Can tantrums be prevented?

There may be no fool-proof way to prevent tantrums, but there’s plenty you can do to encourage good behavior in even the youngest children:
1. Be consistent. Establish a daily routine so that your child knows what to expect. It’s also important to set reasonable limits and follow them consistently.
2. Plan ahead. If you need to run errands, go early in the day — when your child isn’t likely to be hungry or tired. If you’re expecting to wait in line, pack a small toy or snack to occupy your child.
3. Encourage your child to use words. Young children understand many more words than they’re able to express. If your child isn’t speaking — or speaking clearly — you might teach him or her sign language for words such as “I want,” “more,” “enough,” “hurt” and “tired.” The more easily your child can communicate with you, the less likely you are to struggle with tantrums. As your child gets older, help him or her put feelings into words.
4. Let your child make choices. To give your child a sense of control, let him or her make appropriate choices. Would you like to wear your red shirt or your blue shirt? Would you like to eat strawberries or bananas? Would you like to read a book or build a tower with your blocks? Then compliment your child on his or her choices.
5. Praise good behavior. Tell your child how proud you are when he or she shares toys, listens to directions, and so on.
6. Use distraction. If you sense a tantrum brewing, distract your child. Try making a silly face or changing location. It may help to touch or hold your child.
7. Avoid situations likely to trigger tantrums. If your child begs for toys or treats when you shop, steer clear of “temptation islands” full of eye-level goodies. If your child acts up in restaurants, make reservations so that you won’t have to wait — or choose restaurants that offer quick service.

Responding to a tantrum:
• If you can, pretend to ignore the tantrum. If you lose your cool or give in to your child’s demands, you’ve only taught your child that tantrums are effective.
• If your child has a tantrum at home, you can act as if it’s not interrupting things. After your child quiets down, you might say, “I noticed your behavior, but that won’t get my attention. If you need to tell me something, you need to use your words.”
• If your child has a tantrum in public, pretending to ignore the behavior is still the best policy. Any parent who witnesses the scene will sympathize with you as you ignore the tantrum. If the tantrum escalates or your child is in danger of hurting himself or herself, stop what you’re doing and remove your child from the situation.