There are two ways you can approach parenting: one, from a reactive place and two, from a proactive place. Although you need to know and consistently use a simple, loving and effective discipline approach like I teach my clients, it is important, if not crucial, to learn proactive ways of avoiding misbehaviours in the first place.

What are the benefits of learning these “avoidance” or proactive strategies, other than not having to discipline so much? Well, all of the proactive parenting strategies actually deepen the bond you have with your child causing your child to want to refrain from misbehaving. Having close, emotional bonds with your child also ensures that their emotional “tank” is filled, so they don’t NEED to misbehave to try and get something they feel is missing.

Over and above this, using proactive parenting strategies increases your child’s sense of self worth by helping them create the image and accepting the image that they are trustworthy, responsible, respectful and cooperative.

Here are my top 15 positive parenting parenting strategies parents can take to help prevent misbehavior and the need for discipline.

1) Set clear, consistent rules.

2) Make certain the environment is safe and worry-free.

3) Show interest in the child’s activities.

4) Provide appropriate and engaging playthings.

5) Encourage self-control by providing meaningful choices.

6) Focus on the desired behavior, rather than the one to be avoided.

7) Build children’s images of themselves as trustworthy, responsible and cooperative.

Expect the best from the child.

9) Give clear directions, one at a time.

10) Say “Yes” whenever possible.

11) Notice and pay attention to children when they do things right.

12) Take action before a situation gets out of control.

13) Encourage children often and generously.

14) Set a good example.

15) Help children see how their actions affect others.

It is important for you to remember that child misbehavior is impossible to prevent completely. They are learning about how their world works by experimenting, and lucky you, you get to be their professor! Now, although misbehaviour is normal, that doesn’t mean it has to be constant or intense. Mild misbehaviour is what we’re after.

We want to shorten their learning curve, and the way to use the proactive strategies listed above consistently. Doing this, you will prevent 90% of all misbehaviours. For the other 10% learn a simple, loving and effective method to discipline and be consistent with it.

Resilience is a strong capability to bounce back after a traumatic event, this can be something catastrophic like a tsunami or death of a relative, or something as mundane as a bad result on a math test.

According to Ronald S. Palomares, PhD, resilience can be learned, you can teach your daughter resilience skills. It is important for your daughter to learn to be resilient because it will help her to become a stronger person, able to manage tough situations and cope better with traumatizing events. In simple words, she will develop a fighting spirit and positive outlook in life.

Based on the research conducted by Psychologists Karen Reivich and Jane Gilham, approximately 2 million teenagers between 12-17 years old suffer from clinical depression per year. The psychologist also found that teaching resilience to young children prevents depression.

According to Gilham it is important for parents to learn the key-resilience building skill; that is the ability to identify the link between self-talk—what is playing on your daughter’s “internal radio”, her feelings and behaviors. She cited as an example a girl who did poorly on a math test, that result prompts her to think: “I can’t do math,” she develops a feeling of discouragement. Her thoughts demotivated her from studying and the result was another failure in the next math test.

As parents, you must find the link what causes the first failure interrupt and challenge her negative self-talk and provide her with a positive perspective. Building resilience skills begins at home. Here is some advice for parents to promote resilience:

-Create a strong bond with your daughter.
-Provide a caring and supportive relationship, show love and trust.
-Give encouragement and reassurance
-Be a resilient role model, your ability to cope failures will be emulated by your daughter.
-Encourage her to join competitions either in sports, arts, or literature.
-Cheer her when she wins; if she losses, cheer her more. Don’t provide her with excuses for her failure, let her understand sportsmanship, cope with the loss and move on positively.
-Constructive and gentle criticism helps your daughter to become more resilient. Review her performance and provide suggestion for her next performance
-Explain that no one is perfect but encourage her to do her best.
-Teach her to persevere and be flexible. Working hard and being persistent in achieving a certain goal is good but if things don’t work as expected, explain that it is okay to change direction. Changing direction doesn’t mean defeat.
-Remember to inject humor to relieve tension as it diverts failures and mistakes into a positive perspective.

Explain to your daughter that life is just like a turning wheel. Sometimes you are up… sometimes you are down. If she develops the ability to bounce back, she will be fine and will be able to face and cope with the different challenges ahead of her.

Baby Sleep Myths — Busted!
When you have a baby in the house, it seems like everything revolves around his sleep — and anyone and everyone will give you advice on it, from safety tips to how to get more of it. But a lot of that “sage advice” is actually wrong, including these seven popular baby sleep myths. Don’t believe them for a second!

Myth #1: You should never wake a sleeping baby.
The truth: You’ve probably heard this one a thousand times already (and maybe even used it when your in-laws dropped by unexpectedly for a visit with baby), but don’t believe it. In the first few weeks, your baby needs to eat what seems like constantly but is actually every two to three hours. So there may be times when you will have to gently nudge her awake for a feeding, says Tanya Remer Altmann, MD, author of Mommy Calls (American Academy of Pediatrics, 2008). And that’s not only okay, it’s important so she can put on a healthy amount of weight. But once a newborn has regained her birth weight, Altmann says, it’s fine to let her sleep as long as she wants at night without waking her to feed (and if she does manage to extend her sleeping stretches, woo-hoo!). Just make sure she’s still feeding often during the day.

Myth #2: Crib bumpers protect baby.
The truth: Crib bumpers may seem like they’ll protect baby from bumps and bruises, but they can actually be dangerous since they (just like any other puffy bedding like comforters, pillows and sleep positioners) pose a suffocation risk. “I’ve never seen a baby who’s seriously injured his head banging it on the side of the crib,” say Altmann. “But babies have rolled and gotten tangled in bumpers.” So keep the bumper — and anything else besides a fitted crib sheet and your baby — out of the crib.

Myth #3: Keep the nursery completely quiet.
The truth: Sure, you may need complete silence to fall (and stay) asleep, but most newborns actually love background noise with a shushing sound, like that of a fan. “It can be comforting and familiar, since they heard constant, loud noise 24/7 when they were in utero,” says Altmann. (Yup, it was pretty noisy inside your belly.) Plus, that white noise can drown out other sounds in the house, which can distract baby from sleep. So if you’re having trouble calming baby down or getting her to stay asleep, consider trying a white-noise sound machine or some other shushing device to help her sleep.

Myth #4: Baby should sleep through the night at 12 weeks.
The truth: Okay, here’s the deal with this one: Yes, it would be nice, but it’s an unrealistic expectation that will only stress you out. “If you have a good daytime eater, with a consistent routine and a bit of luck, your baby will sleep through the night at 12 weeks,” says Altmann, who stresses the luck part. For everyone else, she says, it may not happen for another month or two or — ouch — three, and that doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. But you can do some things to encourage your baby to start sleeping for longer stretches: Establish a short, calming bedtime routine, allow your baby to fall asleep on his own (no nursing or rocking him to sleep), and once he’s asleep, don’t run to the nursery at every little noise he makes — he needs to learn he can fall back to sleep on his own. If you’re consistent, she says, you increase the likelihood that your infant will be sleeping at least six to eight hours straight at night by four to six months of age.

Myth #5: Setting a late bedtime will prevent baby from waking too early in the morning.
The truth: Uh, wouldn’t that be nice? It seems so logical, but sorry, this almost always backfires. Here’s why: Keeping your baby up late at night will make her overtired, and when kids are overtired, they get wired, actually making it harder for them to fall asleep and to get back to sleep if they wake up early. To get your baby to sleep later the next morning, you’ll actually have better luck making her bedtime earlier. “Trust me and try it,” says Altmann. “Put your kid to sleep 30 minutes earlier than usual. They will begin sleeping a bit later in the morning.”

Myth #6: It’s okay to let the dog sleep in the nursery.
The truth: The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends never leaving a baby or child alone with a pet — and that includes allowing the pet to sleep in a child’s room. The reason: About 600,000 children are bitten by dogs every year, badly enough to need medical attention. Even a playful cat can jump into a newborn’s bassinet or crib and scratch — or smother — them, says Altmann. “I’ve seen horrible dog bites in infants, and they’re often from a dog the family knows,” she adds. Play it safe and declare the nursery a no-pet zone.

Myth #7: Adding cereal to baby’s bottle will help her sleep through the night.
The truth: There’s actually no evidence that adding cereal to baby’s bedtime bottle will help her sleep longer, so there’s no point in doing it. In fact, cereal in a bottle increases the number of calories baby consumes, and some studies show that feeding baby solid foods before four months can contribute to obesity. The AAP recommends waiting to introduce solid foods until baby is four to six months old, and to always spoon-feed solids since baby could choke on them if they’re dispensed through a bottle. (There are some exceptions, like if the doctor recommends cereal as a treatment for reflux. In those cases, follow your doc’s recommendations carefully.) As for getting her to sleep through the night, you’ll have better luck with the tips we mentioned above under myth #4.

Helping Baby Sleep Better
Learn ways to get baby some much-needed shut-eye at night (so you can too). Every baby is different, but there are definitely some ways to maximize your chances of catching some Zzz’s. Hear what our resident sleep experts Conner Herman and Kira Ryan have to say when it comes to maximizing baby’s snoozetime.

Clear the Clutter
Make sure the nursery is designated as a room for sleep. Keep the area around the crib free of toys and other fun knickknacks. “Crib distractions confuse your baby,” says Conner. “They’ll make him wonder, ‘Is this a playpen, or is it time to sleep?’” Clearing the space will help your baby mentally associate the bedroom with sleeping and other rooms with playing. “Babies can’t understand you verbally,” reminds Herman. “You need to figure out how to give them other cues.”

Start Separating
Though it may go against your natural instinct, Kira, recommends putting baby in her own room for at least one nap a day from the start. “This gets her acclimated to her room, so when it’s time to move in there, it’s not a total change.” A daily solo nap also helps baby and you get used to being apart — these little breaks may be tough, but they’re healthy and necessary. Even if baby sleeps in your room, Herman recommends putting up a screen or partition for a little separation. “If baby wakes up during the night and sees you, it’s easy for him to rely on you to fall back asleep.” And you’ll all be happy later if baby’s able to put himself back to bed.

Stay Cool
Baby sleeps best when the temperature is consistent and cool. “Most moms actually keep the nursery too warm,” says Ryan. Try to keep the room temperature between 68 and 72 degrees. Putting your crib in the right spot is also essential. “Pick a location that isn’t in the direct pathway of your air conditioning or heating vents,” says Herman. Sudden temperature changes will startle and disturb baby. Also, keep the crib away from windows to protect baby from drafts and outside noise.

Dim the Lights
Forget the nightlights — babies aren’t likely to fear the dark until at least 18 months. In fact, cut out all the extra light you can. “On a scale of one to five, five being pitch black, your baby’s room should be a four,” says Herman. Get yourself an extra hour of sleep by putting vinyl blackout curtains behind decorative drapes. Light signals daytime to baby, so blocking out the sun will help keep her snoozin’. Also, scan the room for anything shiny. A CD player, baby monitor, or flashing toy could catch baby’s eye and wake him up, so cover these objects or turn them around. If baby’s a nighttime nurser, attach a dimmer switch to a lamp and turn it on and off slowly for nighttime feedings.

Soothe with Sound
What baby hears (or doesn’t) is just as important as what she does or doesn’t see. Pick up a white noise machine to cancel out house noise, cars, and other distracting sounds; leave it on all night. Baby will begin to associate the constant and consistent sound with sleep. Some noise machines have lullaby, ocean, or other sound options, but simple white noise is fine — it’ll bring baby back to being in the womb, and really, what’s more soothing than memories of mommy’s belly? Look for a portable machine so you’ll be able to recreate the sounds of the nursery while you’re away from home.

Trouble Sleeping in Babies
Baby isn’t sleeping? Causes of sleeplessness in babies — and how you both can get back to a good night’s sleep.

What is considered trouble sleeping for a baby?

You might think it’s normal for a baby (and often a toddler) to have trouble sleeping from time to time. But the fact is, there are a number of health issues or concerns that might make it difficult for your baby to sleep.

What could be causing my baby to have trouble sleeping?

Anything from a stuffy nose to an ear infection, reflux or pain from teething can make it difficult for your baby to sleep soundly. Sometimes developmental issues (like separation anxiety) can also make it tough for him to fall (and stay) asleep.

When should I take my baby to the doctor if he has trouble sleeping?

If his difficulty getting some solid shut-eye seems sudden (like, he used to sleep through the night and now can’t) and continues for weeks on end, or if he seems very uncomfortable when he’s put to bed, call your doc for advice.

What should I do to treat my baby’s trouble sleeping?

If the issue is more psychological than physical, establishing good bedtime habits (bath, bottle, book, bed) can help him get into a routine that will help him sleep. But if he’s got something else going on (such as pain from an infection or teething), you’ll also need to treat that cause if either of you are going to get a good night’s sleep.

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Little learning opportunities for some extra education can be found everywhere for parents and children alike. If you’re trying to teach your preschooler some basic math functions, or helping your young mathematician sharpen her skills, you may need look no further than your own kitchen for a potential classroom. Here are ten simple ways you can teach your kid math in the kitchen:

Recipes – measurements involved with preparing recipes often require adjusting the prescribed amounts in order get the number of servings you need for your family. This is a great opportunity to impart some valuable multiplication or division skills.

Measuring cups – Your child can learn how various measurements relate to one another, and learn some pointers about fractions too. Show him how many tablespoons are in an ounce, and then let him figure out how many tablespoons he’ll need for x number of ounces.

Receipts – An ideal tool for demonstrating addition, your grocery store receipts can be used as practice for your child to see if she can add everything up and match the right “answer”. This could also provide the opportunity to teach your child the use of a calculator and about percentages with the sales tax.

Coupons – Your kid can learn some financial tips to go with some exercises in subtraction by figuring out the family’s savings by clipping coupons. Let her work out the differences between prices with and without the savings.
Geometry – Slicing a pizza, cake or a tray of brownie squares is a great way to demonstrate not only division, but how objects are measured. Four brownies times nine brownies equal 36 square brownies. Subtract two for testing to get 34 total. Every good food geometry lesson needs room for a taste test!

Calendar – The calendar on the fridge can help a child understand the number of days in a week, month or year. Learning how to determine dates by counting the number of days, or using multiples of seven, is a valuable skill.
Microwave Math – A child can learn to count backwards by following along on a microwave timer. She can also learn how to tell time, how many seconds are in a minute, and how many minutes are in an hour. Let her figure out what time it will be when a dish is ready by adding the cooking time to the clock time.

Counting Calories – Nutritional information on packaging shows different data, such as the number of calories per serving. Let him figure out how many servings are in the package, then figure out the total calories for the entire package.

Thermometers – Using kitchen thermometers with multiple scales can help your child learn how Fahrenheit temperatures relate to Celsius and vice versa. Demonstrate boiling and freezing points using the stove and the freezer.

Let your child divide up servings of a food item like cookies, carrot sticks, or grapes into equal parts. Setting the table and dividing up servings helps demonstrate the relationships between numbers in a practical way.

There are better ways to deny, deter, or discipline your child than always saying “no.” Aside from the obvious exhaustion — for both parent and child — some parenting experts believe that saying “no” too much can breed resentment or plant seeds for future rebellion. According to Audrey Ricker, Psy.D., co-author of Backtalk: 4 Steps in Ending Rude Behavior in Your Kids, using “no” too often can desensitize a child to its meaning, so save the word for life-threatening situations instead. Use short, clear and concise phrases to explain why your toddler shouldn’t do something. Try these 10 short sentences to substitute for “no.”

“I know you like ice cream, but eating too much is not good.”
David Walsh, Ph.D., author of No: Why Kids — Of All Ages — Need to Hear It and Ways Parents Can Say It, suggests that parents deny certain junk food requests, like ice cream and candy, by offering a healthier alternative, such as yogurt. Avoid the promise of “maybe tomorrow,” Dr. Walsh says. “Toddlers can’t comprehend time very well, so it doesn’t make sense to tell them exactly when in the future they will get ice cream. Most toddlers just want what they want, so the parents need to calmly, firmly, and warmly offer the healthy snack in spite of a toddler’s protests.” This way, your toddler still gets a treat, but it’s better option.

“Food is for eating, not for flinging.”
Toddlers tend to play with food because they might still be full from a previous meal. The food then becomes a toy, says Linda Shook Sorkin, a licensed marriage and family therapist and expert contributor for KidPointz.com. Instead of shouting as your toddler flings a bowl full of macaroni and cheese to the floor, simply take the bowl away and explain the reason why he shouldn’t throw food. Use this calm, explanatory approach when your little one starts bouncing on the bed in the late hours by saying, “Beds are for sleeping and relaxing, not for jumping.” But if he takes a sip of milk without protest, acknowledge the good behavior with a compliment.

“Don’t knock down Legos. Let me show you how to play.”
If your curious toddler decides to go Godzilla on his big brother’s Lego tower, it’s not always a sign of jealousy — at least not consciously, explains Fran Walfish, Psy.D., author of The Self-Aware Parent: Resolving Conflict and Building a Better Bond with Your Child. “He may not be aware that he is jealous of his brother’s talent. He may simply see the Lego building and think that it would be fun to knock it down,” Dr. Walfish says. “Most kids hate to be told what to do, some more than others. But if your child hears you reflect out loud what he should want and feel, this will help raise his self-awareness and feel seen, acknowledged, and understood. This is empathy.” Ask if you can join in and model the proper way to play with others.

“Things need to grow. Let’s be gentle.”
If you catch your toddler ripping apart prized peonies or pulling a family pet’s tail, point out that plants and animals are alive too. “When you hurt the flower (or pet), you hurt its feelings and growth.” This helps you child develop empathy and awareness of the feelings of other living beings. “Give the child responsibility to learn that plants should be treated with respect, as with nature in general,” says Marva Soogrim, the nanny of choice for celebrity A-listers, including Reese Witherspoon, Julia Roberts, and Courteney Cox, and the founder of MarvalousBabies.com.

“We use our words, not our hands.”
This is a clever approach to avoid saying “No hitting your sister.” “A toddler’s capacity to understand what it means to hit others is very limited. It’s important to stop the aggressor immediately and then calmly state the behavior you want, by saying ‘We do not hit when we are angry,’” Shook Sorkin explains. In many instances, the toddler is expressing his frustrations or seeking attention. “Ask siblings to hug each other to cultivate affection. Help kids calm down when they are angry or ask what they want when they are unhappy,” she says. Another variation is to help the child begin identifying the feelings he is experiencing in any given moment. Once that feeling is identified, take a step further to solve the problem.

“I can’t understand you when you whine like that. Tell me in your regular voice.”
As your tot learns new words, she may whine to protest or request something. Avoid saying, “Stop whining” or “We don’t whine.” Instead, encourage her to communicate with simple words. Richard Bromfield, Ph.D., author of How to Unspoil Your Child Fast, suggests saying, “I can’t understand you when you use the whiny voice.” This can convince your child to speak in a normal tone. “The most powerful and natural motivator will be the reward of having her words, feelings, or requests heard and responded to. This approach carries the implicit lesson that the child has a choice in not just her tone of voice but in much of her behavior.”

“Watch out! Mommy is coming to get you.”
Laughter can be a wonderful asset when disciplining because it shows that you can identify when a more lighthearted approach is best. “Distraction and humor are excellent strategies to use with toddlers who are feeling stubborn or irritable,” says Eileen Kennedy-Moore, Ph.D., author of What About Me? 12 Ways to Get Your Parents’ Attention (Without Hitting Your Sister). “Little kids love to laugh, so doing something silly can be a fun and caring way to redirect them towards greater cooperation. You don’t have to be a great comedian to do this. You can say a funny warning, like ‘Here come the tickle fingers!’” The next time your toddler is knocking the garbage can over or throwing a ball in the house, playfully chase him into another room where there are more appropriate forms of engagement.

“Can mommy have the phone? You can have this toy.”
Your child may want to hold your iPhone every time it rings in the grocery store, but it’s not a plaything. Give your child a small and engaging toy instead the next time she tries to grab the phone. “It’s easier for children to replace a behavior than to stop it,” Dr. Kennedy-Moore says. If you don’t have a toy with you, try handing her a safe and inedible item (like a plastic ball) that can’t be destroyed or cause a mess and isn’t dangerous. You can also use the opportunity to educate them on the different items in the store.

“Leave your shoes on. We take our shoes off only at home.”
Your toddler just began wearing shoes and he makes every attempt to take them off. Instead of chiding him to “stop taking your shoes off,” explain what you want him to do instead. This can even be applied to toddlers who start wearing their wardrobes at inopportune times. Try, “We wear bathing suits at the beach, not at the playground.” Or if your toddler climbs on top of furniture say, “Chairs are for sitting down” or “Please stand on the floor.”

“Stop!” “Danger!” or “Hot!”
Sometimes “no” isn’t enough to communicate possible danger. Instead, use other strong adjectives or verbs with a tone of urgency to convey a sense of urgency. “Parents forget that they have to work hard at the positive communication they have with kids for the negative to be effective,” Dr. Ricker says. She suggests parents communicate danger by “raising their voice, shaking their finger or even looking scared.” This means that if your toddler is about to put his hand on the stove — even when it’s not in use — express your fear with alarming phrases and move him to a safer place immediately.

1. Stick to Short Sessions

Most toddlers simply don’t have the attention span for long stories. To ensure reading doesn’t become a chore for your child, begin with very brief sessions. As Louise G. suggests: “Start with 2 minutes of pointing and teaching words and gradually extend the time to 5 minutes.”

2. Don’t Force Sitting

Does your son want to wiggle and dance while you read? Many moms, including Sandra M., say you should allow toddlers to move and play during story time. “I agree with letting him play while you read. He will probably wander back and forth to see pictures, especially if it’s a book that he likes. Jamie F. concurs: “The goal here is not to finish a book or even make them sit still! It is to expose them to idea of reading.”

3. Touch-Friendly Books

From turning pages to pulling flaps and patting the bunny, toddlers love hands-on reading sessions. As Stacy G. advises: “Find a book that is ‘active’: has buttons to push to make noises, has pictures that ‘pop out,’ or has different textures that your child can feel.” Since toddlers tend to play (and chew) roughly, moms like LadyJane B. suggest investing in sturdy board or cloth books.

4. Verbal Engagement

Asking questions, imitating sounds, narrating in silly voices and reading rhyming stories can also ramp up story time’s fun factor. JuLeah W. recommends posing simple questions to your child: “Ask on each page, ‘Where is the duck?’ or ‘What color is that truck?’…‘Can you find the ball on this page?’ It will be more fun for him if he can play that kind of role.” And Lakisha J. suggests: “Naming the objects, and making the sounds that the object or animal makes, is so much fun, and will help your son to engage in the process of reading.”

5. Visuals Toddlers Love

If you’re having trouble finding a book that really gets your toddler excited, keep in mind that most toddlers love looking at bright colors and animals. As Michelle W. recalls: “I found that books with pictures of animals were big hits with the kids in my class at day care (infant and toddler room).” And as moms like Michelle H. share, most babies love looking at other babies, so books that feature babies’ and children’s faces are often very absorbing.

6. Try Different Times

“Will he let you read while he’s busy doing something else?” asks Sylvia H. ” Or when he’s in the bath? Or at bedtime when he’s almost asleep?” Try reading to your child at various times of day to see when he’s most receptive to listening. As Mary S. suggests: “Don’t limit reading to your children to bedtime. Visit a library and pull out some books, get comfy and read, look at the pictures, etc.”

7. Model Behavior

“Let him see you reading your own books,” recommends Stacey G. “Children love to mimic their parents.” Similarly, Ellie H. suggests enthusiastically reading your children’s books aloud while they’re playing nearby: “I pulled the oldest trick in the book. I played with the books and read them!…Pretty soon, my kids were putting down the other toy and coming over to check things out.”

From www.circleofmoms.com

When Anika M.’s baby hit the toddler stage he suddenly became a picky eater. “I’m getting very frustrated,” she says. “My son ate very well up until around 14 months old; he would eat all fruits and veggies, cereal and yogurt. Now, I’m battling with him to eat anything.”

If you’re in Anika’s shoes and have unsuccessfully tried it all — from trying to make eating fun to promising a gooey desert at the end of the meal — you may want to pay attention to the secret of many moms: deception.

Here are five “sneaky techniques” for getting your toddler to eat healthy, as suggested by Karah C. and several other Circle of Moms members who’ve been through a picky eating phase.

1. Hide in a Wrap

Like rolling a vitamin into a slice of cheese or a peanut butter sandwich, several Circle of Moms wrap “the healthy stuff,” inside egg rolls and other kid-friendly foods. Karah hides healthy food inside egg rolls, which her son loves. “You can buy wonton wrappers at the grocery store and make your own,” she advises. “I started my son with eggs and cheese inside them and then we added veggies later. He liked them because it was portable and fun to eat. Maybe you can start with pizza toppings and call them pizza roll-ups. Also, he didn’t realize I was hiding the veggies in the sauce of the pizza.”

2. Chop, Chop, and Puree

Expanding on the “hiding” concept, other moms find they can sneak nutrition into their picky toddler’s mouths by pureeing or finely chopping vegetables and fruits and adding them into cookies, spaghetti, and other toddler-friendly foods. Kara B. explains: “I usually puree the veggies and hide them in something else, like a sauce for something that she does like to eat. She doesn’t even know they are there. Keep trying different vegetables at every meal.”

Karah C. says that shredded carrots are easy to hide in many foods, and Amy R. sneaks sweet potatoes and carrots into her son’s macaroni and cheese. “At first he didn’t like it but now I don’t think he knows it’s in there,” she shares.

3. Show That You Think It’s Yummy

Many Circle of Moms members find that biting off a piece of the offending veggie and saying how yummy it is can convince their toddlers to eat up. Others pretend they are taking the food away and eating it themselves, which irks their kids into a classic toddler protest: Mine!

Sarah S., who hides veggies in all kinds of foods, also talks up how much she herself loves the foods as she serves them to her son. Menu items include pumpkin or carrots mixed into applesauce and almond butter as a dip for chicken nuggets. “He doesn’t even notice [the healthy additions] it if I start eating first and dipping the foods,” she says. “It’s a great way to get him to finish off meat or the other foods with healthy stuff in them.”

4. Appeal to a Toddler’s Sweet Tooth

Another time-tested trick for slipping nutrition into a fussy eater is to appeal to her sweet tooth. Jennifer S. serves up flavored nutrient drinks. Anika M. and Erin S. both makes fruit smoothies and popsicles, mixing in veggies. Stacey C. sneaks veggies into brownies. “The kids have no idea,” she shares.

5. Eat with Friends

Circle of Moms member Skye takes advantage of the fact that toddlers love to mimic their peers to get her son to eat healthy foods he normally shies away from. “If you can arrange a play date, I found [that] serving something new at snack time was a surefire way to get something new near my son’s mouth. I spread out a blanket on the floor and served up bite-sized pieces, buffet style, on little plastic saucer-sized plates (like a toy tea set, for example). The change in venue was less intimidating for him and watching a friend munch down on something gave him the courage to try something new.”

A Fall Back Plan: Vitamins

When toddlers are refusing to eat anything healthy, many moms supplement their diets with vitamins. “My three-year-old won’t eat anything but hot dogs, chicken nuggets and pizza, and even then it is a fight,” says Monica Y. Rather than force the issue with her son, she simply goes with her doctor’s advice, which is to give him vitamins.

Is your preschooler talking as much as she should be? Most kids who experience delayed speech will catch up with a little encouragement, social interaction, and sometimes speech therapy. After all, as Circle of Moms member Cheri M. notes, Albert Einstein didn’t say a word till he was four years old!

But what is considered normal speech for 3-5 year-olds? If you suspect your child may have speech delays, here are the five potential red flags mentioned most commonly by Circle of Moms members, as well as their perspectives on how moms can help and when to take your concerns to a pediatrician or speech therapist.

1. Limited Vocabulary

How many words does your preschooler really use? Take the time to count the number of words your child says on a regular basis. According to Jennifer R., a teacher and Circle of Moms member, kids should have about 500 words in their vocabulary by age three. This is a ballpark number, but if your child is using significantly fewer than 500 words it’s a good idea to talk to your pediatrician.

Remember that understanding language is different than using it. Kids with speech delays often understand far more words and phrases than they actually say. Liesl M. advises moms not to stress too much if your child listens more than he talks: “My cousin’s one daughter didn’t speak until she was three and when she decided that she wants to speak she did so instantly. Some kids are really just born listeners it doesn’t mean that they can’t; they are just waiting for the right time…”

2. Inability To Make Certain Sounds

A major part of speech development is learning the actual mouth movements to make each sound. As adults, we rarely think about this process because it is so second-nature to us. Using the tongue to make sounds such as “L,” “G,” and “th” is something we all practiced and learned at some point in our lives, probably farther back than we even remember. Jackie C. learned how to help her son with sounds by attending speech therapy with him: “…my son had an issue with the C and G sounds. I didn’t realize when you make those sounds your tongue drops to the back of your mouth… We don’t even notice it, much less pay attention to how we are doing it. I could never have taught him that his tongue was in the wrong position since I never knew where mine was.”

3. Lack Of Phrases

Is your preschooler stringing 3-4 words together to make simple sentences and phrases? Some children need extra help and take longer to formulate sentences and to properly use the past, future, and present tenses. Achla D. came to Circle of Moms for help when her 3-year-old (who has a great vocabulary) was having trouble joining words together to form sentences. One of the moms who responded went through similar issues with her son, and had some advice on encouraging a young child to make sentences: “We make it a point that he demands or talks in a full sentence if he wants something. I also make him repeat whatever I talk to him.”

4. Difficult to Understand

Sometimes it takes someone outside your household to recognize a problem. As Jackie C. says: “You speak your child’s language. No matter who you are or what issues your child has, you understand them.” But do strangers understand what your child says? Christy C. is going through a similar articulation problem with her 4-year-old son: “…he too is hard to understand most of the time. He will talk your head off but you really have to listen close to get even just part of what he’s saying… I hope that going to Pre-K next fall will help get him on track. He’s very intelligent..he already knows all his ABC’s and 123′s, shapes, colors, etc. It’s just his speech.”

5. Gestures More Than Talks

Children who can get what they want and get their point across without talking might not feel the need to use speech. The good part about this aspect of speech delay is that with some positive reinforcement, you can encourage them to start using words. Elisabeth had this problem with her son, and the speech therapist she went to gave her some ideas to try at home: “For example put Cheerios in a container, give him one and get him to say a word and if he says it give him another Cheerio or do the same with toys. You pretty much have to take control over things and get him to say words and just keep trying.”

Jacqueline B., a mom of three, offers similar advice to get your kids to use words: “Instead of asking, do you want ‘said item’, try ‘what do you want?’ and allow the time for a response before you try to guess, or give the answer. Once they realize the power of speech, it opens magical doors.”

Don’t Panic, Don’t Wait

If you suspect speech delay, start with a visit to the pediatrician to rule out hearing problems. There are many programs for speech therapy, both private and through public schools/preschools, some of which are free or low cost. Most moms agree you shouldn’t sit back and do nothing if your doctor recommends speech therapy. The earlier you start, the easier it will be for your child. Dana B. has no regrets after seeing the progress her 5-year-old son has made since starting therapy: “I’m happy with our decision to handle this at an early age, and not to have “waited it out” to see if he would get better on his own. I myself was in speech therapy in grade school, and I am happy that I was able to help him out before he has gotten to school age… if you have any questions or are not comfortable with anything, just ask! These people are all there to help out you and your child.”

Sports/Fitness & Art
Children are introduced to Fitness Fun, an exercise-based program that combines simple exercises with fun challenging activities. Activities are developmentally designed to get children moving with five of the health related components of fitness: Cardiovascular endurance; muscular strength; muscular endurance; body composition; and flexibility. Through Sports Smarts, children will practice and develop sport skills and be introduced to the concept of team play in a non-competitive environment. Sports will include baseball, gymnastics, racquet, volleyball, & soccer.

In addition to Fitness Fun and Sports Smarts, children are introduced to Art through a process-oriented approach combined with imaginative play to encourage their artistic potential. Our art studio environment invites all creative possibilities, as children paint, sculpt and design in a variety of multi-media and hands-on experiences. Your child will have an opportunity to create his or her masterpiece and gain confidence in self-expression. Children will scrapbook memories from each of our day trips to produce a Staycation Memories Journal for the end of the summer. Day trips will include trips to the farm, beach, zoo, camping, circus, aquarium, Mexico, and Caribbean.

Science, Art and Imaginary Travels (School Skills)
The discovery room is provided for children to use and experiment with materials, talk about their discoveries and solve problems they encounter. Children will have the opportunity to talk to one another and make choices with what they are working on. Many social emotional skills needed for school readiness will be applied during this component. By taking turns, using self-control, building confidence to work independently, and communicating with their peers, children will proudly complete a task from start to finish. From exploring their senses to creating a snail garden, children will learn to use self-control, build confidence and proudly complete a task from start to finish. Children will record their experiences in a Lab Journal. Experiments will involve magnets, rocks, weather, seeds, gas, rockets, bugs, mixtures, and sense of smell & touch.

Sports/Fitness & Music/ Creative Movement
In addition to Fitness Fun and Sports Smarts, the Creative Movement & Music program is designed to promote body awareness, focus, physical strength and flexibility in children. Through silly songs and stretching exercises children begin focusing on body awareness. Body awareness continues to develop through coordination in the form of simple choreographed and free dances. Children at this age can’t get enough music! Through rhythm, pitch and tempo children can express their emerging musical knowledge. Group songs, finger plays, instruments and musical games build both cognitive and social skills. Singing voices and your child’s creative spirit will blossom through songs, musical movement, stories and improvisation. Children begin to build a love and foundation of musical skills to grow on! Parents will attend a summer camp show at the end of the session.

Gymboree’s Philosophy: Stretch a child’s rapidly developing mind and body and you start preparing that child for life. Our child-development experts have been building and growing our program for more than 30 years. We continue to focus on the whole child in order to help children acquire the key ingredients–motor skills, social skills and self-esteem–they need to grow up to be confident, happy and successful adults. While our program continues to evolve to meet the changing needs of families, we will always maintain our core belief that playing and learning are inextricably linked. We want to give your child new ways to problem-solve, think creatively, gain self-esteem and grow to be an independent learner.

Bathroom: Children do not need to be toilet trained. However, we cannot change diapers. We will call you for a bowel movement. All children of this age need reminders, therefore, we will remind all children to try to go to the potty, wipe themselves, and wash hands.

Separation: We understand that separation is not always easy. If separation is difficult, parents can come into the class with child. We will work with you and your child to ensure that separation occurs without causing undue stress. Encourage children to share the exercises & art work with you at home. It may take child up to 4 weeks to feel comfortable with the new routine of the class. Parents must return for last 5 minutes of the class to share child’s class experiences.

Why only 2 hours? NJ Regulations do not allow facilities that are not licensed as daycares or pre-schools to keep children of this age for longer than 2 hours.

Make-Up Policy: Make-ups cannot be guaranteed in a summer camp but will certainly be guaranteed in a Gymboree Play & Learn, Music or Art class.

Gymboree Play & Music of Ocean & Howell
869 W. Park Ave, Ocean Twp, 07712, (732)493-1993, jerseysnj@gymboreeclasses.com
2438 Route 9 S, Howell, 07731, (732)462-4450, howellnj@gymboreeclasses.com